Sarcasm Loves Company
by HideyoMitsuno98
Summary: Tsukki x reader one-shot. Salty Tsukki can just be annoying. Not obnoxious, not mean, just plain annoying.


"Tsukishima Kei, why do you always have to be such a jerk?"

He answers the question with a slow glare.

"A jerk? Here I thought you enjoyed our sarcastic banter, (f/n)," says the lanky teenager sarcastically, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his office chair.

"I do," you say, "But once in awhile you really, really bug me."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you," he grins, "You know just how to compliment me."

"Shut up!" you shout, at the end of your rope with the ENDLESS snark, "Just...just stop. Please." You rub your temples uneasily, feeling a headache sneaking up on you. You wander a couple steps around Kei's room, and stop in front of him. "Really, Kei, must you take pride in driving me up the wall?" you ask softly, placing your hands on the armrests of his chair. He lifts his chin to ensure that your locked gazes don't break.

"Do you ever expect anything different from me?" he asks, a smirk tugging at his lips, and you frown slightly, wondering if you do.

"I guess I've learned not to," you reply, leaning in so close that you feel the breath of his chuckle against your cheek, "After all, you aren't particularly good at anything but being rude."

"You're one to talk, you know."

You do know. Your temper gets the better of you more often than not, and your and Kei's families know that there will be a rather explosive argument whenever you visit one another. They don't like it, but they do know that you get over yourselves by the end of the night and that, in the long run, you're good for each other. A lot of trust passes between the Tsukishima family and the (f/surname) family.

Kei presses his lips to yours, though he still doesn't break the eye contact, and he studies your reaction closely, amber eyes tracing over your features.

He has yet to get you blushing by the end of a kiss, and it frustrates him to no end. He can get you angry, no problem, but he can't seem to romance you.

You grin against his lips as he growls, and he pulls away from you, more annoyed and flustered than willing to continue kissing.

You step away from him. One thing you have trouble with is getting him out of his self-pity stupor. A steadying breath helps you prepare your onslaught.

"Tsukishima Kei, you are the most boring person I know sometimes," you begin, turning away a moment after his angry, shocked face looks up at you, "You want to impress me, but you never try anything different. You know, that's the commoner's definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You're one of the cleverest people I know, yes, sir! But also one of the dullest."

"Dull!?"

"Yes, dull! You do what's familiar to you and never step out of your comfort zone unless you mathematically figure out what will happen if you do," you end your spiel in a huff and shoulder your backpack, stepping toward the door. Satisfaction curls in your stomach as you feel Kei sneak up behind you, and you grin to yourself as you pull his bedroom door open.

His hand flies past your face and slams the door shut again, and you can tell that this time, your matter-of-fact, almost harsh scolding has done its best work yet. He pulls you around to face him with his free hand, keeping his other hand against the door.

"You don't find me dull," he states simply, and an excited shudder whispers down your spine as he dives down. Kei's lips capture yours viciously, and he wastes no time in nipping at your bottom lip. He's not at all gentle, and it stings, but it's exciting and new and you slide your fingers through his short hair and pull him closer. Electricity zings over your arms and raises goosebumps when he slide his tongue into your mouth, and you chuckle warmly, the sound swallowed up by him. Your backpack hits the floor with a thump as his tongue curls deftly around yours, and you let out a very annoyed groan as he pulls away.

"Nooo, come back," you whine, grabbing his shirt with both hands to steady yourself as you stretch onto your tiptoes and press lots of kisses over his jaw and cheeks and mouth, "Mmm, I love kissing you. Yumm…~"

"Yum?"

"Yes, yum," you breathe, touching his lower lip with the tip of your tongue before closing your lips around it and giving a long suck, which he returns smoothly. But then you remember that you were leaving, and not just because of the argument. "I have to go home," you say, "Don't stay up too late tonight."

Akiteru stares at you as you walk out the door, and he bites back a grin.

"(F/n), you're blushing~"


End file.
